#8: 3 Ways to Know if You Resist Support
Does the thought of resisting support seem to make you think, "No way, I love when people help me." But then you take a pause and question this statement of yours!
If so, you're not alone. Let's dive into ways to understand if you are resisting support in your life!
The first way to know if you are resisting support:
#1- You like to control things
We all do it. We think we can just figure it out or we can take action and do it ourselves.
Take for example you get back from the grocery store with lots of bags and your partner or roommates or a family member wants to help you but you say, no’ I got it. Even though no you don’t have it. There are a lot of bags and a bunch of steps and you wish you wouldn’t have to take them all up there.
Or
- Someone at work wants to brainstorm a solution with you but you think it will take longer to talk it through with them so you whip together a solution and emails yourself.
- You judge someone’s work ethic or abilities? Rather than trust that someone else can do the project, you do it yourself.
- Or you get angry when someone or something changes up your schedule.
Controlling is a big one! It's hard to let go, just breathe and move on. But we can do it!
#2- Do you see asking for help as a sign of weakness?
Take a deep breath with me on this.
I’ve talked about this before (I heart images and ideas of Superwoman and Wonder Woman as I talked about this in last week’s podcast). Therefore if you’re anything like me you love doing it all. You thrive on busy to-do lists and making things happen creatively. In fact you think you excel with a lot on your plate. This is what I thought up until about a year ago.
I used to think the busier I was, the better! But then life made me slow down and clear my plate. Now I have a brand new perspective.
Here’s why asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
You can actually see it as a strength.
The more we ask for help, the easier it gets. The easier it gets and the more we do it, the more we feel a deeper sense of connection and community and fulfillment in our lives.
We all need help throughout our lifetime. Yet it is just as important to give help as part of our support system.
What charity do you support or where can you go volunteer to bring down some of the silos?
There is an amazing Ted Talk by Michelle Sullivan that if you like this information you may want to watch. The title of her talk is Asking for Help is a Strength.
#3- Focusing on the needs of others makes us out of touch with our own needs.
It’s easy to focus on other people and see where they need help and go out of our ways to find a solution for them or try to figure out their problem. Maybe it’s because that’s what we do all day long.
- Are you paid to figure out other people’s problems?
- Do people come to you because you are creative and you know how to solve the problem?
- Maybe you’re a fixer -- you love fixing things and people - you know you can help make it right and better.
It feels good and it fills us up for the moment. But in the long term what fills us up is fixing ourselves, diving into the knowledge and helping ourselves.
When we dive into ourselves and what we want, it might mean asking for support to do this.
On the podcast I give an example of how I prioritized myself and I had to ask for support.
If you liked this blog or podcast, please share it with 1 friend. We are a growing, budding community with lots of wonderful women supporting one another.
Thanks beauties!
Resources from this podcast
Psychology Today; The Unselfish Art of Protecting Yourself
Gabrielle Bernstein: The Universe Has Your Back
