You know, for single women, divorced women, or those not ready yet -- it is easy to wonder if you can really have it all.
Want some proof? Okay, no problem. There is plenty of it.
It takes some hustle, focus and some help. But don't listen to me. Let's see who is really doing it.
Here are a few women who know how to balance their passion, their families and their sanity.
If you want to listen to today's post instead of read, check out my podcast; now on Soundcloud!
Can you say hustler? You most likely know about Ms. Rachel Hollis but in case you don’t, she has brands on QVC, she is a New York Times Bestseller, runs a media company and is straight up fun to follow on Instagram. She and husband Dave have four children and live in Austin, TX.
In her most recent book, Girl, Stop Apologizing, she talks about how women need to talk about the help they have in order to do it all. She shares a story of when she was watching one of her favorite celebrities being interviewed and she was so excited for her to share how she stays organized with her house, her life, and her company. Rachel wanted to learn about how the celebrity hires people and where it makes the most sense to have help. And when that moment came, when the interviewer asked her how she does it all - how she’s a mom, an actress, a wife, a business woman and so much more, her answer was ….. “I’m really organized.”
Needless to say, Rachel shares why this was not a full and complete answer. Many, many women who have incredibly glamorous looking lives have help behind the scenes. And no one talks about it; no one confesses to having help to do it all! Rachel shares more about this in her book, which I highly recommend!
Rachel is honest, funny, and wants you to live the life of your dreams. She shares how she makes her life work with a housekeeper, a nanny and more. Rachel wants you to not judge having help because everyone benefits from it and you are allowed to create a life of your dreams.
We all know Sara Blakely but her story is one of fearless pursuit to innovate and believe in yourself. In her 20s she sold fax machines while also building and designing a patent for her idea, creating spandex undergarments for women. After two years of building and designing it, she was able to convince an executive at Neiman Marcus to start carrying it at a few stories. Then she mailed a gift basket to Oprah and the rest is history!
Yet what I really enjoy about Sara is a story she shares about growing up as a teenager. She loved to listen to Wayne Dyer tapes over and over in her car driving to and from high school. Side note - Wayne Dyer’s work talks about how to manifest and really focus on your thoughts and what you want in your life. I really believe that he changed Sara’s thinking during the crucial years of her life and that helped her to believe in herself in her 20s. She was vulnerable enough to believe in a product and herself and then ballsy enough to go after her dreams. Gotta love this woman!
Sara launched her company in her 20s and didn’t get married and have a family until her 30s. She now has a family of four and is married to Jessie Itzler. That goes to show you that you can focus on what you want and still build a family into your life when you are ready.
You may want to read the Washington Post article about the first woman/mom astronaut, Anna Fisher, whom was pregnant when NASA offered to send her to space. This was back in 1983 and when asked the question she had been waiting for, she didn’t hesitate. After 14 months of giving birth, Anna Fisher went into space.
In the Post article, they explain how she went back to work almost immediately after giving birth to her daughter, Kristin. Anna explained that she didn’t want the men to think she wasn’t working even though she had a baby.
After her second child, Ms. Fisher took seven years off of work to raise her two young daughters. Then Anna returned to work to become one of the longest employed astronauts at the agency and became the chief of the space station branch. That is an incredible feat and she did all while taking a few years off for children and then coming back to work.
We can make the babies, take some time off, and go back to enjoy being productive and working years later.
When those thoughts about “can I have it all” creep into your brain, I want you to reprogram it with, "yes I can." It might not be perfect or exactly as you pictured it but you can do it.
Remember, we're not going for perfection here. We're going for messy, transitional, fulfilled lives. Exhale out perfect, inhale messy, beautiful, and everything all at once.
Here are 3 ways to start getting ready for it and ensure you feel secure in the process.
Change a job to telework only.
Remove yourself from the job force for two to five years.
Start looking at the top companies for mothers to work.
Whatever you are feeling to research or look into, do it. Set aside researching time on your calendar and be proactive. Talk to your partner or close friends or supportive parents that want you to have it all in your life. Share where you see your life going and discuss ways to incorporate a transitional job to create more space for children in the future.
There are a few helpful websites to that feature jobs that support women, families, and work life balance. Review these lists and take note which companies stick out to you. Do your homework on some of your favorites and apply when the positions look right. Get in that door before you want to have children.
This is non-negotiable. Don’t try to think that this doesn’t apply to you.
Every person having a family needs assistance. I don’t care if it is for a cleaner to come once a month and you order your groceries online. Whatever it is, do it. Don’t think that you can “just do it yourself.” It pays to pay for help. It also pays to ask for help.
Start talking to family members to see if they would consider moving closer to you.
Start talking to family members or even a close friend to see if they would consider moving in with you.
Start talking to your neighbor down the street that has a nanny to see how she likes it. Ask her questions what she loves most about it and what she doesn’t.
Remember, no one is super woman or super man! Don’t get it twisted and think you are.
Recognize that the healthier and happier and less stressed you will be about your life as a new mom, the better for EVERYONE!
Plus when you hire help (or let the grandparents move in) you are employing someone else and bringing fulfilling work into their life. Therefore you are helping out more people by hiring them to help you.
This is not selfish, it is okay to get help for yourself and your family.
One more thing, if money is an issue, refer to my blog - Every Little Bit Counts; Advice on Financial Planning for New Parents.
Are you like most women and tend to overthink and be anxious about not having control over their lives?
Take some deep breaths and trust that this is normal. You are normal.
Then meditate on trusting the process of having it all. Visualize what you would like to see in your life in the next year, two years and five years from now.
We were put on this planet to do beautiful, creative work, both as a mother and as a creator at work. You can express your creativity and wear many different hats in your life.
Want help with meditation? Try the headspace app.
Check out my favorite meditation podcast. My man and I fall asleep to it all the time!
You can find out more about who she is and more about how she is a Guided Meditation Artist at Chel Hamilton.
When your children see you doing more and being more they will naturally be encouraged to do more for themselves. You will be their inspiration to create a family and life they love too.
Before I sign off I want to clarify something. If having a family and a career isn’t what you want for your life, that’s cool too! Do whatever you want - there is no right or wrong way to live a life - especially your life.
This is to encourage the women that are hesitant to go all in with their career and having a child too.
You will make it work. Trust yourself.
Do you, baby. Just do you.
Today's episode is sponsored by Easy Breezy Egg Freezy; A Guide to Deciding if Egg Freezing is Right for You.
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